if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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