Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
