I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
