i already hear my dad disowning me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
