Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
