i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
