Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize