Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
