I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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