shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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