Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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