sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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