You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i don't like sucking hair
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
