Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
id be glad to
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
