I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize