I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
