And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
