we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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