I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
