last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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