i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
