Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How drunk are you?
Completed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
