How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
