Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
