your room smells of hookers.
And success
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
