girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize