It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
