I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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