You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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