I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
