His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
