I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
