matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize