I want to stick my p in your. b.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
