come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
