I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize