Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then he tried to convert me to islam
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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