help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize