You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
