I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize