you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
