Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
