I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
