She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
