Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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