Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
