New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
