Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
