so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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