first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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