I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
