You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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