lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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