Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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