We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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