Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
