Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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