I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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