HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
