Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
