garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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