but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
