Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
