Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
