I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
