Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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