Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
