Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pants are for mortals
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
