Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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