i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
