i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
