this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
