My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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