Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
