you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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