I looked at my own cervix.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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