Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
