Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
